There’s a special kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling everything so deeply… and still having to smile, keep it together, and be the calm in your kids’ storm.
When you’re the anxious mom, panic doesn’t wait for a convenient time. It shows up in the middle of homeschool. In the middle of Target. In the middle of your room while you’re prepping folders and trying to keep everyone on task.
But even when your chest is tight, your shoulder aches out of nowhere, or your heart skips a beat — there’s still a little voice in your head whispering: “Stay calm for them.”
It’s not easy. It’s not fair. But it’s reality for so many of us.
💔 The Truth About Being an Anxious Mom
Some mornings, I wake up already overthinking.
Did I sleep weird or is this chest tightness serious?
Is this a panic attack or am I really about to have a heart attack?
Why do my fingers tingle like that? What if it’s a stroke?
The thoughts spiral fast. The symptoms come and go. And yet — life doesn’t pause. I still have to be “Mom.” I still have to homeschool, guide lessons, organize folders, answer questions, break up arguments… all while fighting off my own internal storm.
What most people don’t realize is that being an anxious mom doesn’t mean I’m weak. It means I’m carrying twice the weight — my worries and theirs — and doing everything I can to make sure they never feel it.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty. Some days I wonder if they notice my hands shaking. Or if they hear the crack in my voice when I tell them “Mommy’s okay.”
And that guilt? It’s heavy. But it’s also misplaced.
🧸 You Don’t Have to Be Perfectly Calm to Be a Safe Space
I used to think I had to be 100% calm all the time or my kids would feel unsafe. Like if they saw me struggle, it would somehow damage them. But I’ve learned something important:
Your kids don’t need a perfect mom.
They need a present mom.
You can still be their safe space even when you’re not calm on the inside. You can show up shaky, breathing through it, and still be the one they run to.
Sometimes, I let them see me regulate. I say, “Mommy’s feeling a little anxious, so I’m going to take some deep breaths.”
And then they watch me do it. Sometimes, they join me.
That’s not failure — that’s modeling emotional intelligence.
🛠 My Go-To Tools When I’m Spiraling But Still Have to Mom
These are the simple things I reach for in the middle of the chaos — tools I can actually use while I’m still in “mom mode”:
- The 5-Second Shoulder Drop: I often realize my shoulders are up by my ears. So I stop, drop them down, breathe in, and exhale like I’m blowing out a candle. Just once. That one move helps me reset.
- Water + Lemon Squeeze: I keep water nearby and sip it like medicine. Even the fake lemon from Great Value counts. It tells my brain, we’re safe and in control.
- Affirmation Anchors: I repeat to myself, “This is a feeling, not a fact.” Or “My kids are safe, I am safe, and I can handle this moment.”
- My Anxiety Tracker: I use a journal or Google Sheet to track my symptoms and remind myself of the patterns. If you want a free copy of the tracker I made, click here to subscribe.
You don’t need a full-blown routine or an hour alone. Sometimes you just need 60 seconds and one small action to remind your body that you’re not in danger — you’re just overwhelmed.
💬 What I Wish Another Mom Had Told Me
I wish someone had told me that it’s okay to be both anxious and strong. That my spirals didn’t disqualify me from being a good mom.
So I’m telling you now:
You are not failing your kids.
You are showing them what it means to face hard things and keep going.
You’re not broken — you’re human.
Calm doesn’t always look calm on the inside.
But the fact that you’re still showing up? Still trying? Still loving?
That makes you the calm they need.
Don’t be so hard on yourself; they need you, and you need them.
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