Anxiety Momster

Surviving Anxiety One Breath, One Breakdown, One Blog at a Time”

Tag: writing

  • Building a Toolbox Against Anxiety (Inside My Calm Vault)

    Building a Toolbox Against Anxiety (Inside My Calm Vault)

    ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post discusses anxiety, panic, and coping strategies.

    📌 Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Everything here is based on my lived experience and supported by trusted resources. Please seek guidance from a licensed professional for your own health needs.

    Anxiety doesn’t wait for a quiet moment. It barges in — at work, during family time, or when I just want to rest. For a long time, I felt like I was fighting empty-handed, scrambling for relief in the middle of panic.

    That’s when I started building my own toolbox against anxiety. Not random tips I might forget in the heat of the moment, but real tools I could grab instantly — journals, forms, trackers, and even games.

    And now I keep them all together in one space: my Calm Vault.

    Why You Need an Anxiety Toolbox

    When your chest is tight or your thoughts won’t stop, it’s hard to think clearly. Having tools ready ahead of time means you don’t have to rely on willpower alone. You can open your toolbox and choose what helps in that moment — whether it’s journaling, logging, or distracting yourself with something calming.

    According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, anxiety is the most common mental health condition, affecting over 40 million U.S. adults [ADAA]. Symptoms can show up in your body (racing heart, dizziness, stomach upset) before your mind even feels stressed. Having tools on hand helps interrupt that cycle.

    What’s Inside My Calm Vault

    Here’s what you’ll find right now (and I keep adding new things regularly):

    • 🫁 Breathe With Me – Printable Journal
      A soft, gentle space to brain dump, reset, and breathe when anxiety gets loud.
    • 🖊️ You vs. Anxiety: Building from the Inside Out (Printable Workbook)
      A printable workbook to track symptoms, reflect on triggers, and rebuild your peace step by step.
    • 📓 Breathe With Me Guided Journal (Canva Template)
      This one’s my favorite a guided journal you can customize in Canva. Don’t worry your copy is completely private once you click “Use template.”
    • 🧠 Free Canva Prompt Template – “My Anxiety Was Loud, But I Still…”
      A simple reflection page that helps you notice the wins you do have, even when anxiety is heavy.
    • 🌬️ Breathe + Log Form (Guided Form)
      For in-the-moment anxiety. Fill it out when panic rises, and it walks you through pausing, breathing, and reflecting.
    • 📊 Breathe + Log Tracker (Google Sheet)
      This goes with the form all your entries collect here so you can see patterns, triggers, and progress over time.
    • 🎮 Gaming Center (Mini Games)
      Because sometimes, you just need a light distraction. I added calming, low-stress mini games to give your brain a break.

    🔄 And I’m still adding more: panic kits, grounding cards, and even full digital planners.

    How I Use My Calm Vault in Real Life

    • When I feel panic coming on at work → I open the Breathe + Log Form and let it guide me through.
    • On rough weeks → I grab the You vs. Anxiety workbook to track patterns I can’t see in the moment.
    • When my mind won’t stop racing → I open the Breathe With Me guided journal and let it walk me through calming down.
    • When I just need distraction → I open the Gaming Center and play a quick mini game until the wave passes.

    Final Thoughts

    Anxiety might always be part of my life but it doesn’t get to run the show anymore. The Calm Vault is my toolbox. My safe place. My collection of reminders that even on the hardest days, I’m not empty-handed.

    And it’s not just for me anymore; it’s for you, too.

    👉 Grab access to my Calm Vault here: Anxiety Momster Calm Vault

    Because peace isn’t about pretending you don’t have anxiety it’s about having tools ready for when it shows up.

  • I’m Not Okay — And That’s Okay Too

    Trigger warning: Mental health, anxiety, panic, and emotional overwhelm.
    Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I’m just a real mom, talking through real moments, trying to survive the chaos one breath at a time.

    Let’s not sugarcoat it:
    I’m not okay.

    I’m not “a little tired.”
    I’m not “just stressed.”
    I’m not “overthinking.”
    I’m drowning in my thoughts while trying to keep five kids alive, hold down two jobs, manage bills we can barely pay, fight the urge to light another cigarette, and survive a world that feels like it’s falling apart every damn day.

    And somehow, I’m still expected to function. Smile. Clock in. Teach. Cook. Comfort. Hold it together. Be the calm one.

    But today, I need to say it out loud — I am not okay.
    And guess what? That’s okay, too.

    This isn’t weakness. This is survival.

    We live in a world where moms are expected to be therapists, teachers, chefs, chauffeurs, nurses, and emotional punching bags — all while pretending we’re “fine.”

    We’re told to take deep breaths and do yoga while our nervous systems are fried and our hearts race over every twitch, headache, or spike in the news.

    We scroll past headlines about war, disease, death, and tragedy — and then still have to flip pancakes like nothing’s wrong.

    That’s not balance.
    That’s emotional whiplash.

    Anxiety doesn’t ask permission to show up.

    Some days, it creeps in quietly.
    Other days, it crashes down like a damn freight train.

    And when you’re already running on fumes, it doesn’t take much — a weird chest sensation, a twitch in your eye, a loud noise from the kids, a late bill, a stupid social media post — to send you into fight-or-flight mode.

    I’ve had moments where I was afraid to sleep.
    Afraid to eat.
    Afraid to be left alone with my own mind.

    And still, I show up.
    Worn-out. Glued together with caffeine and prayers. But I show up.

    So here’s what I’m learning:

    • You don’t have to be “okay” to be worthy of love.
    • You don’t need to be perfect to deserve rest.
    • Crying in the bathroom between tasks does not make you weak — it makes you human.
    • Saying “I can’t handle this right now” is not quitting.
    • Needing help, needing space, needing quiet — that is valid.

    If you’re in a season where your brain feels loud and your body feels heavy — I see you.

    Maybe you’re grieving peace you never really had.
    Maybe your nervous system is tired of surviving on adrenaline.
    Maybe you’re just over it and too damn tired to fake your way through another “I’m fine.”

    I get it.
    And I promise you this:
    You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not broken.
    You are carrying more than anyone realizes — and still showing up in ways you don’t give yourself credit for.

    So let this be your permission slip:

    To not be okay.
    To sit in the mess for a minute.
    To not chase perfection.
    To not apologize for being human.

    You are doing your best — and that is enough today.

    💬 Let’s talk:

    Have you had one of those “I’m not okay” days lately?
    What do you wish someone would say to you in that moment?

    Drop it in the comments or DM me.
    Let’s stop pretending and start healing — together.

  • Today Was a High Functioning Anxiety Day—But I Still Showed Up

    Today Was a High Functioning Anxiety Day—But I Still Showed Up

    ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post discusses health anxiety, panic, and fear around daily tasks.
    📌 Disclaimer: This blog shares personal experiences and is not intended to replace professional medical advice.

    Today was a high functioning anxiety day.

    That means I still did things—I got out of bed, I worked from home, I showered—but it felt like dragging myself through quicksand the whole time.

    I woke up already in panic mode.
    My chest felt off.
    My thoughts were racing.
    And the first thing I did?
    Check my heart rate. Again. And again. And again.

    Scared to Shower, But I Didn’t Want to Be Alone

    Even something as “simple” as a shower felt scary today.
    What if I got lightheaded?
    What if I panicked with no one nearby?

    So I asked my husband to shower with me. Not to fix me, just to be there.
    And he was.

    That’s what surviving looks like sometimes.

    I Still Worked—But It Wasn’t Easy

    I work from home, and I logged in like always.
    But today? I took a lot of breaks.
    I had to step away to breathe, to cry, to calm myself down.

    Every ping, every message, every task felt heavier than usual.
    But I did it. Slowly. Anxiously.
    And that still counts.

    This is what a high functioning anxiety day looks like for me:
    Smiling on the outside.
    Fighting for calm on the inside.

    I’m Not Lazy. I’m Overwhelmed.

    Some people will never understand this kind of anxiety.
    But if you’re reading this, I know you do.

    You know what it’s like to be afraid of your own body.
    To second-guess every twinge, every tight breath, every heart flutter.
    To survive an entire day without anyone knowing you were in panic mode the whole time.

    If today was that kind of day for you too—this post is for you.

    You’re not dramatic.
    You’re not weak.
    You’re just doing your best with a brain that never shuts up.

  • Conquering Anxiety: A Workbook for Empowerment

    Conquering Anxiety: A Workbook for Empowerment

    ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post discusses mental health and anxiety-related thoughts that may be distressing to some readers. Please proceed with care.

    📌 Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or medical provider. I share personal experiences, tools, and reflections that have helped me manage anxiety. Always consult a professional for medical or mental health guidance.

    Some days, anxiety whispers.
    Other days, it screams.

    Mine has said things like:
    “You’re not a good mom.”
    “You’re falling apart.”
    “Everyone’s tired of you.”

    Sound familiar?
    Yeah… I thought so.

    I created this workbook because anxiety’s voice had taken up too much damn space in my head — and I needed a way to fight back. A way to talk louder. A way to come home to myself.

    That’s where “You vs. Anxiety” was born.

    It starts with just one page — the one I’m sharing with you today.
    A page that says: “I see you. I hear what anxiety says. But here’s what I say back.”

    ✨ Preview Page: “Anxiety Says…”

    This isn’t just a worksheet. It’s a shift.
    From fear to truth. From panic to power.

    🖤 View the free preview page here when you subscribe

    You’re not broken. You’re not weak. You’re just someone who’s been fighting battles no one else can see.
    And now — you’re learning how to fight differently.

    The full workbook is coming soon. For now, I hope this first page reminds you of who the hell you are underneath all the noise.

    We’re not aiming for perfect here — just peace.

    — Anxiety Momster

  • A Heartfelt Letter to Anxious Moms for Mother’s Day

    A Heartfelt Letter to Anxious Moms for Mother’s Day

    A Peaceful Letter to Anxious Moms on Mother’s Day

    ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post gently touches on anxiety, motherhood, and emotional vulnerability.
    📌 Disclaimer: I’m not a mental health professional — just a mom sharing her heart.

    Somewhere right now, a mom is holding a cup of cold coffee, mentally making five lists while wiping away tears she hasn’t told anyone about.

    And if that mom is you — this is your reminder:
    💜 You’re doing more than enough.
    💜 You’re already worthy.
    💜 And you deserve peace today, too.

    💐 Today, Let’s Pause

    Mother’s Day isn’t just about perfect pictures or gift bags with fancy bows.
    It’s about moments like:

    • Quiet breathing before the house wakes up
    • Tiny hands hugging you tighter than usual
    • Letting yourself rest without guilt
    • Laughing even though you cried last night

    🌿 You’re Still a Good Mom If…

    • You need breaks
    • You say “not right now”
    • You don’t love every moment
    • You’re healing while parenting
    • You cry and show up anyway

    Anxiety doesn’t erase your love.
    It just makes you more intentional about holding on to the good.

    💌 A Love Letter to Moms Like Us

    To the mom with the full heart and tired spirit —
    I see you.

    You are the safe place.
    The breath of calm during the storm.
    The reason someone feels deeply loved.

    And even on the days when you don’t feel “together”…
    your presence is still a gift.

    🧘‍♀️ A Simple Practice for Today:

    Take 3 deep breaths.
    Hand on your heart.
    Say:

    “I am enough. Right now. Just as I am.”
    “I don’t have to do it all today.”
    “I deserve peace, too.”

    💜 Wishing You a Gentle, Peaceful Mother’s Day

    If today feels joyful — soak it up.
    If today feels hard — breathe through it.
    Either way, you are loved, seen, and appreciated.

    Happy Mother’s Day 💐
    From one anxious mom to another.

    — Shanice, Anxiety Momster

  • Dear Anxiety, Stop Making Me Afraid to Live

    Dear Anxiety,

    You showed up again today.

    Right when I was trying to eat.
    Right when I was laughing with my kids.
    Right when I felt a tiny moment of peace—you snuck in and ruined it.

    You made my chest feel tight.
    You made my head buzz.
    You made me question if I was about to die, or just spiral again.

    And the worst part?
    You made me scared to trust my own body.

    I can’t even enjoy food without wondering if it’s going to make me sick.
    I can’t sit in silence without hearing my heart beat too loud.
    I can’t tell the difference between a panic attack and a health scare anymore—and that’s what terrifies me the most.

    You’ve stolen so much from me.

    Moments. Memories. Energy.
    My confidence. My joy. My damn peace.

    But you know what?

    I’m still showing up.

    I’m still writing this.
    I still got out of bed.
    I still laughed today—nervously, maybe—but it still counts.

    I’m learning how to track you.
    To name you.
    To strip you of your power every time I put words to what you’re doing to me.

    So no, I’m not cured.
    I still check my blood sugar more than I should.
    I still wonder if this headache is something worse.
    I still panic when I feel pressure in my chest.

    But now?
    I write through it.
    I track it.
    I talk back to you.

    And every time I do, you lose a little more grip.

    Sincerely,
    The girl you thought you could silence.
    —Shanice

  • Dear Anxiety: I Forgive Myself for the Bad Days

    Dear Anxiety,

    For a long time, I hated myself for the days you won.
    The days I couldn’t get out of bed.
    The days I canceled plans.
    The days I cried and shook and felt like a burden to everyone around me.

    I carried so much shame.
    I thought every bad day meant I was failing.
    That if I was strong enough, I wouldn’t feel this way.

    But that’s not true.

    Bad days aren’t failures.
    They’re part of healing.
    They’re part of living.

    So today, I’m choosing forgiveness.

    I forgive myself for the days I was too tired to fight.
    I forgive myself for the panic attacks, the canceled plans, the missed moments.
    I forgive myself for surviving the best way I knew how at the time.

    You don’t get to weaponize my past against me anymore.

    Every hard day I lived through is a testament to my strength — not my weakness.

    I am allowed to have bad days.
    I am allowed to be human.
    I am allowed to forgive myself.

    I am proud of how far I’ve come, even if the road was messy.

    And I’m not carrying shame with me anymore.

    — Shanice

  • Dear Anxiety: I’m Done Hiding From You

    Dear Anxiety,

    For a long time, I tried to hide you.
    Pretend you weren’t there.
    Smile through the panic.
    Laugh through the fear.
    Nod through the moments where my body was screaming inside.

    I thought if I just stayed quiet, if I just kept pretending, you’d leave me alone.

    But you didn’t.

    Hiding didn’t make you disappear.
    It only made me disappear.
    Piece by piece, I lost parts of myself trying to make you less noticeable to the world.

    Not anymore.

    I’m done hiding from you.
    I’m done pretending to be okay when I’m crumbling inside.
    I’m done acting like you’re not heavy when some days you’re too much to carry alone.

    I will not be ashamed of my struggle.
    I will not let silence be your weapon.

    Talking about you doesn’t make me weak.
    Admitting my fear doesn’t make me broken.
    Sharing my battles doesn’t make me less.

    It makes me free.

    You don’t get to make me hide anymore.

    I am showing up.
    I am speaking out.
    I am standing tall — even with the weight of you still trying to drag me down.

    I’m done hiding.
    You don’t get that power anymore.

    — Shanice

  • Dear Anxiety: Even on My Hardest Days, I Show Up

    Dear Anxiety,

    You try to tell me that bad days erase all the progress I’ve made.
    That if I have one breakdown, one panic attack, one wave of fear — I’m back at square one.

    But you’re wrong.

    Even on my hardest days,
    I show up.

    Even when my chest is tight and my mind is racing,
    I still breathe.
    I still move.
    I still live.

    It might not look pretty.
    It might not look brave.
    Sometimes it’s just getting dressed.
    Sometimes it’s just answering a text.
    Sometimes it’s just making it through another hour.

    But it’s showing up —
    and that’s enough.

    You don’t get to define strength by how loud or visible it is.
    You don’t get to decide what counts.

    I decide.
    And every shaky breath, every tear-streaked smile, every tiny choice to keep going counts.

    You can make the days hard.
    You can make the nights long.
    But you cannot make me disappear.

    I am here.
    Even when it’s hard.
    Especially when it’s hard.

    — Shanice

  • Dear Anxiety: I Am Stronger Than You Think

    Dear Anxiety,

    You’ve seen me at my lowest.
    You’ve watched me collapse under the weight of fear.
    You’ve seen the nights I couldn’t sleep, the mornings I couldn’t move, the days I thought I couldn’t survive.

    And yet — here I am.

    Still breathing.
    Still fighting.
    Still standing.

    You underestimate me.
    You think that because I feel fear, I am fear.
    You think that because I cry, I am broken.
    You think that because I stumble, I’ll never rise.

    But every tear, every panic attack, every hard moment I’ve survived has made me stronger.

    Not because they didn’t hurt —
    but because they did, and I’m still here anyway.

    I am not weak because of you.
    I am stronger because of everything you’ve thrown at me.

    I have scars, yes.
    But scars mean healing.
    Scars mean survival.
    Scars mean I fought through it.

    And I will keep fighting.
    Not because it’s easy.
    But because I know I deserve the life you keep trying to steal from me.

    I am stronger than you think, Anxiety.
    And I’m just getting started.

    — Shanice

    These are my real, raw letters to my anxiety.
    Some days, it wins. Some days, I fight back.
    Either way, these words are proof that I’m still here, still breathing, still trying.
    If you’re fighting too, you’re not alone. 🖤

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