Anxiety Momster

Surviving Anxiety One Breath, One Breakdown, One Blog at a Time”

Tag: self-care

  • Feeling Like You’re Going Crazy? It Might Just Be Anxiety

    Feeling Like You’re Going Crazy? It Might Just Be Anxiety

    ⚠ Trigger Warning: This post discusses anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and mental health symptoms.
    Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. This is based on my personal experience with anxiety. Please seek professional advice if you’re struggling or unsure about your symptoms.

    Have you ever had that moment where your heart is pounding, your mind is racing, and you think:
    “I’m losing my mind. Something is seriously wrong with me.”

    I’ve been there — more times than I can count. And every single time, it felt so real.

    But here’s what I’ve learned through living with anxiety and panic attacks: Feeling like you’re going crazy doesn’t mean you actually are.

    Why Anxiety Can Make You Feel Like You’re Losing Control

    When anxiety spikes, it’s not just an emotional feeling — it’s a physical, full-body alarm system. Your brain senses a threat (even if there isn’t one) and kicks your nervous system into fight-or-flight mode.

    That response can cause:

    • Racing thoughts or intrusive thoughts
    • A sense of unreality or detachment (derealization)
    • Difficulty focusing or speaking
    • Feeling like you’re “not yourself”
    • Worry you might snap, faint, or lose touch with reality

    It’s terrifying, but it’s a symptom — not a sign you’re going insane.

    The Science Behind the ‘I’m Going Crazy’ Feeling

    Anxiety overloads your brain with adrenaline, making thoughts race faster than you can process them. At the same time, your body becomes hyper-aware of every sensation. That’s why your mind starts scanning for “proof” that something is wrong.

    Common triggers for this feeling:

    • Adrenaline surge — speeds up thinking until it feels overwhelming
    • Hyper-awareness — makes you notice every breath, heartbeat, or twitch
    • Fight-or-flight mode — convinces your body it’s in danger when it’s not

    This combination creates the perfect storm for thinking: “I’m losing control.”

    How to Ground Yourself When You Feel This Way

    1. Label it: Say to yourself, “This is anxiety, not danger.”
    2. Engage your senses: Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise.
    3. Slow your breathing: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6–8.
    4. Shift your focus: Distract your brain with a neutral activity — folding laundry, watching a light show, playing a game.

    Important Reminder

    You are not crazy. You are having a normal human reaction to an overactive nervous system. If you’ve felt this before and came out the other side — you can do it again.

    The fact that you’re aware of your thoughts means you are still grounded in reality. Anxiety can feel powerful, but it’s not more powerful than you.

    💬 Let’s Talk: Have you ever felt like you were losing your mind when it was actually anxiety? Share your story in the comments — it might help someone else feel less alone.

  • Unmedicated but Anxious: My Honest Truth

    Unmedicated but Anxious: My Honest Truth

    Trigger warning: anxiety, panic attacks, medication fear

    Disclaimer: this post is based on personal experience and public research. it is not medical advice. always consult with a healthcare professional before starting or stopping any medication.

    I live with anxiety every single day.
    And I don’t take daily medication.

    Not because I don’t believe in it.
    Not because I’m trying to be some “strong, natural” version of a mom.
    But because I’m scared.

    This is my truth — the in-between space where panic is real, meds are terrifying, and I’m still trying to survive.

    I’ve Tried Medication — It Didn’t Go Well

    This isn’t a story about someone who refused to get help.
    This is a story about someone who tried… and had a hard time.

    I’ve been prescribed:

    • Zoloft – it gave me intense side effects that made me feel worse, not better.
    • Lexapro and Celexa – I didn’t feel like myself. Just emotionally flat and off.
    • Wellbutrin – was suggested to help with quitting smoking, but it left me moody and on edge.
    • Propranolol – helped a bit with physical symptoms like racing heart, but I couldn’t stay on it.

    Now, the only medication I occasionally take is Hydroxyzine — and even then, I cry before I take it.

    Not because I think I’m above medication.
    Because I’m anxious about the very thing that’s supposed to help my anxiety.

    Medication Anxiety Is Real — And I Have It

    There’s a name for what I go through: medication anxiety.

    It’s not uncommon.
    In fact, studies have shown that fear of side effects, fear of becoming dependent, or fear of losing control are among the top reasons people avoid or discontinue anxiety medications — even when they need them.

    One study published in BMJ Open (2018) found that stigma, fear of adverse effects, and distrust in medication were significant barriers to treatment for anxiety and depression.

    And I feel that deeply.
    I want relief — I really do.
    But the idea of putting something in my body that might make things worse? That fear is paralyzing.

    But I’m Not Anti-Medication. Not At All.

    Let me say this loudly:
    There is no shame in taking medication for anxiety.

    Some people take it and feel like they can breathe again for the first time in years.
    Some need it long-term. Others only short-term.
    Some combine it with therapy. Some don’t.

    All of it is valid.

    Just because I’m not on daily meds right now doesn’t mean I won’t try again.
    And it definitely doesn’t mean I think less of anyone who needs them to function.

    I celebrate every mom, every person, who is doing whatever they need to do to feel better — whether that includes medication or not.

    So How Do I Cope Without Daily Meds?

    Honestly? It’s not always pretty.
    Some days I feel like I’m barely hanging on.
    Some days I wish I could fast-forward through the panic, the overthinking, the chest tightness, the spirals.

    But I’ve built my own support system — not perfect, but something.

    What helps me manage for now:

    • Hydroxyzine (only during extreme panic attacks)
    • Grounding exercises and deep breathing
    • Journaling with my Peace Over Panic Journal
    • My “You vs. Anxiety” tracker to monitor symptoms and identify patterns
    • Faith, prayer, and reassurance rituals when fear feels overwhelming
    • Crying it out and not pretending to be okay

    Some days it works. Some days it doesn’t.
    But I keep showing up anyway.

    What I Wish People Understood

    Living with untreated anxiety doesn’t mean I’m irresponsible.
    It means I’m trying to find a way forward that doesn’t scare me even more.

    People say:

    “Just take the pill, it’ll help.”
    “Millions of people are on it — you’ll be fine.”
    “It’s just in your head.”

    But anxiety is in my body, too.
    And trauma around how meds have made me feel in the past is very real.

    So I take it day by day.
    Symptom by symptom.
    And I stay open — because I haven’t given up.

    To Anyone Like Me…

    If you’re scared of medication but also scared of how anxiety is taking over your life — you are not alone.
    If you’ve tried and had bad reactions — you’re not crazy.
    If you’re somewhere in the middle — not fully okay, not fully medicated — I’m with you.

    This isn’t a perfect ending or a cure-all.
    It’s just my truth:
    Unmedicated. Anxious. Still trying. Still hoping. Still fighting.

    💜 What Helps Me Stay Grounded

    I’ve created a space called The Calm Vault — it’s where I keep the free tools, worksheets, and gentle supports that have helped me feel a little less alone on the hard days.
    Inside, you’ll find things like:

    • Printable anxiety check-ins
    • Emotional tracking sheets
    • Journaling prompts
    • Reassurance pages for when you’re spiraling

    All real. All free. All created with love for the overwhelmed medicated and unmedicated.

  • I’m Not Okay — And That’s Okay Too

    Trigger warning: Mental health, anxiety, panic, and emotional overwhelm.
    Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I’m just a real mom, talking through real moments, trying to survive the chaos one breath at a time.

    Let’s not sugarcoat it:
    I’m not okay.

    I’m not “a little tired.”
    I’m not “just stressed.”
    I’m not “overthinking.”
    I’m drowning in my thoughts while trying to keep five kids alive, hold down two jobs, manage bills we can barely pay, fight the urge to light another cigarette, and survive a world that feels like it’s falling apart every damn day.

    And somehow, I’m still expected to function. Smile. Clock in. Teach. Cook. Comfort. Hold it together. Be the calm one.

    But today, I need to say it out loud — I am not okay.
    And guess what? That’s okay, too.

    This isn’t weakness. This is survival.

    We live in a world where moms are expected to be therapists, teachers, chefs, chauffeurs, nurses, and emotional punching bags — all while pretending we’re “fine.”

    We’re told to take deep breaths and do yoga while our nervous systems are fried and our hearts race over every twitch, headache, or spike in the news.

    We scroll past headlines about war, disease, death, and tragedy — and then still have to flip pancakes like nothing’s wrong.

    That’s not balance.
    That’s emotional whiplash.

    Anxiety doesn’t ask permission to show up.

    Some days, it creeps in quietly.
    Other days, it crashes down like a damn freight train.

    And when you’re already running on fumes, it doesn’t take much — a weird chest sensation, a twitch in your eye, a loud noise from the kids, a late bill, a stupid social media post — to send you into fight-or-flight mode.

    I’ve had moments where I was afraid to sleep.
    Afraid to eat.
    Afraid to be left alone with my own mind.

    And still, I show up.
    Worn-out. Glued together with caffeine and prayers. But I show up.

    So here’s what I’m learning:

    • You don’t have to be “okay” to be worthy of love.
    • You don’t need to be perfect to deserve rest.
    • Crying in the bathroom between tasks does not make you weak — it makes you human.
    • Saying “I can’t handle this right now” is not quitting.
    • Needing help, needing space, needing quiet — that is valid.

    If you’re in a season where your brain feels loud and your body feels heavy — I see you.

    Maybe you’re grieving peace you never really had.
    Maybe your nervous system is tired of surviving on adrenaline.
    Maybe you’re just over it and too damn tired to fake your way through another “I’m fine.”

    I get it.
    And I promise you this:
    You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not broken.
    You are carrying more than anyone realizes — and still showing up in ways you don’t give yourself credit for.

    So let this be your permission slip:

    To not be okay.
    To sit in the mess for a minute.
    To not chase perfection.
    To not apologize for being human.

    You are doing your best — and that is enough today.

    💬 Let’s talk:

    Have you had one of those “I’m not okay” days lately?
    What do you wish someone would say to you in that moment?

    Drop it in the comments or DM me.
    Let’s stop pretending and start healing — together.

  • What Anxiety Has Stolen From Me — And What I’m Taking Back

    What Anxiety Has Stolen From Me — And What I’m Taking Back

    Trigger Warning: This post discusses anxiety, panic attacks, emotional overwhelm, and personal loss.
    Disclaimer: This post is based on personal experience and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.

    🖤 The Truth?

    Anxiety has taken so much from me.

    I don’t say that for pity. I say it because it’s real. It’s honest. And if you’re reading this, maybe you feel it too.

    I’ve lost time — so much time — worrying about things that never happened.
    I’ve missed out on joy because I was too focused on what could go wrong.
    I’ve watched moments pass while I was stuck in my head, spiraling.
    I’ve spent nights awake, heart pounding, body buzzing, afraid of sleep itself.
    I’ve said no to plans I really wanted to say yes to — all because anxiety told me I wasn’t safe.

    😔 What It Stole from Me…

    • Sleep: Long nights of checking my pulse, Googling symptoms, trying to breathe through imaginary danger.
    • Peace: My mind never seemed to shut off. Even in silence, it was loud.
    • Confidence: I started questioning everything I felt. Every pain. Every twitch. Every emotion.
    • Moments with My Kids: I was there, but I wasn’t. I was trapped in a storm while smiling through it.
    • Joy: Even on good days, anxiety made me suspicious of the peace. Like I wasn’t allowed to feel okay for too long.

    It took my presence. It made me feel broken.
    It made me think I’d always be like this.

    💪 But Here’s What I’m Taking Back:

    I’m taking back my power.
    I’m reclaiming my voice.
    I’m choosing to track it, name it, and still live through it.

    No, I’m not magically cured.
    No, I don’t always feel brave.
    But I’ve learned to face it with softness and fight it with truth.

    I breathe when it tells me to panic.
    I speak out loud when it makes me feel crazy.
    I show up for myself, even if it’s messy and tired and trembling.

    And I’ve started to feel little pieces of myself come back.

    🌱 Reclaiming My Life Looks Like:

    • Writing these words. Sharing what I’ve lived.
    • Making tools for others who feel like I do.
    • Taking deep breaths that don’t feel forced.
    • Laughing with my kids and actually feeling it.
    • Saying, “I had a hard day,” without shame.
    • Letting joy in — and letting it stay a while.

    I might not be who I was before anxiety. But I’m building someone even stronger.

    Someone real. Someone healing.

    🖤 If You’ve Lost Yourself to Anxiety Too…

    I see you. I AM you.

    And I want you to know: it’s not too late to get pieces of you back.
    Even if it’s slow. Even if it’s one breath at a time.

    You’re not weak. You’re surviving a war no one else sees.

    And you are worth every moment of peace you’re trying to find.

  • Supporting Loved Ones with Anxiety: What to Say and Avoid

    Supporting Loved Ones with Anxiety: What to Say and Avoid

    A Guide for Family and Friends Who Want to Support Without Hurting

    If you love someone who struggles with anxiety — whether it’s your child, partner, sibling, friend, or coworker — I want to thank you for even clicking on this post. That means you care. And caring is the first step.

    But support isn’t always easy, especially if you don’t fully understand what anxiety feels like from the inside. Sometimes, even well-meaning words can hurt.

    So let’s break it down — here’s what not to say, and what you can say instead.

    ❌ What Not to Say to Someone with Anxiety

    These phrases may come from a good place, but they often do more harm than good:

    “Just calm down.”

    If we could, we would. Anxiety isn’t a choice. It’s a physiological and emotional reaction we can’t just shut off like a light switch.

    “It’s all in your head.”

    This one stings. Yes, anxiety starts in the brain, but the symptoms are real. Chest tightness, racing heart, nausea, dizziness — it’s not imaginary.

    “You’re overreacting.”

    This phrase invalidates what the person is feeling. What seems small to you feels huge to us in the moment. It’s not about logic — it’s about panic and fear taking over.

    “You need to stop thinking so much.”

    Easier said than done. People with anxiety often can’t control the flood of thoughts. It’s not about overthinking — it’s about being stuck in survival mode.

    “Other people have it worse.”

    Comparison helps no one. Pain is pain. Dismissing someone’s struggle because others are struggling more doesn’t make anyone feel better — it makes them feel guilty on top of anxious.

    ✅ What You Can Say That Helps

    “I’m here for you. What do you need right now?”

    This is gold. It centers the person and gives them space to ask for what would help most in the moment — even if it’s just silence or sitting with them.

    “I know this feels scary, but you’re safe right now.”

    Reassurance is powerful — without dismissing the feeling. This tells us we’re not crazy for feeling scared, but gently reminds us we’re not in danger.

    “Let’s breathe together.”

    Sometimes, we just need someone to guide us through it. Matching breathing is one of the most supportive things you can do.

    “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

    Remind them that you’re in their corner — that they’re not a burden, and that their anxiety doesn’t push you away.

    💜 How to Be a Supportive Ally to Someone With Anxiety

    • Learn their triggers and ask how to avoid them.
    • Offer calm, not solutions. We don’t always want advice — we want presence.
    • Check in regularly, not just when we’re panicking.
    • Don’t make it about you. (Ex: “I don’t know what to do when you’re like this.” Instead, say: “I want to understand.”)
    • Normalize mental health conversations in everyday life.

    🙏 Final Thought: Show Up, Even When It’s Uncomfortable

    Supporting someone with anxiety isn’t about fixing them.
    It’s about sitting beside them while they feel broken — and reminding them they’re not.

    Your words have power.
    Your presence is healing.
    And sometimes, the most helpful thing you can say is simply:

    “You’re not alone. I’m here.”

    — Shanice, Anxiety Momster

    💜 Want to Help a Loved One Even More?

    Grab my free Peace Over Panic Journal + Anxiety Tracker — it’s the perfect gift to share with someone who’s struggling.

    👉 Download it here
    Includes guided check-ins, breathing logs, coping tools, and space to reflect — whether you’re the one experiencing anxiety or someone supporting them.

  • Breaking Down the ‘Strong Mom’ Stereotype

    Breaking Down the ‘Strong Mom’ Stereotype

    Challenging the Unrealistic Expectations That Are Breaking Us

    ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post contains honest reflections on mental health, motherhood, emotional burnout, and breaking societal expectations.
    📌 Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. This is a personal reflection based on my lived experience. Please seek professional help if you’re struggling.

    Every time someone tells me, “You’re so strong,” I flinch a little inside.
    Not because I’m ungrateful.
    But because sometimes, I don’t want to be strong.
    Sometimes, I’m barely holding it together.

    And yet — moms like me, especially those of us managing anxiety, health conditions, and motherhood — get labeled “strong” like it’s a badge we’re supposed to wear with pride.

    But what if I told you that label is crushing us?

    The “Strong Mom” Stereotype Is a Lie

    Here’s what I know:

    • Strong moms cry in the bathroom while the food is cooking
    • Strong moms carry health anxiety and still show up for work and their kids
    • Strong moms sit in ER parking lots wondering if they’re dying or just panicking
    • Strong moms teach their children to breathe while trying not to fall apart themselves

    But the world only sees the outside.
    The clean house, the packed lunches, the calm voice.
    They don’t see the heart racing, the trembling hands, the exhaustion behind the eyes.

    I’ve lived this. I live it every day.

    I take my meds.
    I monitor my blood sugar.
    I fight through low iron, kidney issues, and the constant worry that something worse is lurking.

    And while I’m fighting all of that, I’m also homeschooling, cleaning, working, and trying to be emotionally available to five kids.

    So yeah — I’m “strong.”

    But I’m also human.
    And I shouldn’t have to hide the human parts just to be accepted.

    What We Really Need

    We don’t need to be strong all the time.
    We need support. Grace. Room to fall apart.
    We need people to stop saying “you’ve got this” and start asking, “How can I help?”

    We need to normalize:

    • Crying in front of our kids
    • Saying “I need a break” without guilt
    • Asking for help
    • Not always being okay

    Because strength isn’t about never breaking down — it’s about being honest when you do.

    Letting Go of the Myth

    If you’re a mom reading this and you feel the weight of that “strong” label — I want you to know something:

    You don’t have to carry it alone.
    You can be real. You can be raw.
    You can be soft and struggling and still be a good mom.
    You can fall apart and still be worthy of love.

    Strong isn’t the goal.
    Whole, supported, and safe — that’s what we deserve.

    — Shanice, Anxiety Momster

    💬 Want to Keep the Conversation Going?

    Grab my free Peace Over Panic Digital Journal + Tracker — built for women like us who carry too much and need a soft place to land.

    👉 Download it here
    Includes daily check-ins, mood logs, affirmations, and room to just be human.

  • Conquering Anxiety: A Workbook for Empowerment

    Conquering Anxiety: A Workbook for Empowerment

    ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post discusses mental health and anxiety-related thoughts that may be distressing to some readers. Please proceed with care.

    📌 Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or medical provider. I share personal experiences, tools, and reflections that have helped me manage anxiety. Always consult a professional for medical or mental health guidance.

    Some days, anxiety whispers.
    Other days, it screams.

    Mine has said things like:
    “You’re not a good mom.”
    “You’re falling apart.”
    “Everyone’s tired of you.”

    Sound familiar?
    Yeah… I thought so.

    I created this workbook because anxiety’s voice had taken up too much damn space in my head — and I needed a way to fight back. A way to talk louder. A way to come home to myself.

    That’s where “You vs. Anxiety” was born.

    It starts with just one page — the one I’m sharing with you today.
    A page that says: “I see you. I hear what anxiety says. But here’s what I say back.”

    ✨ Preview Page: “Anxiety Says…”

    This isn’t just a worksheet. It’s a shift.
    From fear to truth. From panic to power.

    🖤 View the free preview page here when you subscribe

    You’re not broken. You’re not weak. You’re just someone who’s been fighting battles no one else can see.
    And now — you’re learning how to fight differently.

    The full workbook is coming soon. For now, I hope this first page reminds you of who the hell you are underneath all the noise.

    We’re not aiming for perfect here — just peace.

    — Anxiety Momster

  • Dear Anxiety, Stop Making Me Afraid to Live

    Dear Anxiety,

    You showed up again today.

    Right when I was trying to eat.
    Right when I was laughing with my kids.
    Right when I felt a tiny moment of peace—you snuck in and ruined it.

    You made my chest feel tight.
    You made my head buzz.
    You made me question if I was about to die, or just spiral again.

    And the worst part?
    You made me scared to trust my own body.

    I can’t even enjoy food without wondering if it’s going to make me sick.
    I can’t sit in silence without hearing my heart beat too loud.
    I can’t tell the difference between a panic attack and a health scare anymore—and that’s what terrifies me the most.

    You’ve stolen so much from me.

    Moments. Memories. Energy.
    My confidence. My joy. My damn peace.

    But you know what?

    I’m still showing up.

    I’m still writing this.
    I still got out of bed.
    I still laughed today—nervously, maybe—but it still counts.

    I’m learning how to track you.
    To name you.
    To strip you of your power every time I put words to what you’re doing to me.

    So no, I’m not cured.
    I still check my blood sugar more than I should.
    I still wonder if this headache is something worse.
    I still panic when I feel pressure in my chest.

    But now?
    I write through it.
    I track it.
    I talk back to you.

    And every time I do, you lose a little more grip.

    Sincerely,
    The girl you thought you could silence.
    —Shanice

  • Dear Anxiety: I Forgive Myself for the Bad Days

    Dear Anxiety,

    For a long time, I hated myself for the days you won.
    The days I couldn’t get out of bed.
    The days I canceled plans.
    The days I cried and shook and felt like a burden to everyone around me.

    I carried so much shame.
    I thought every bad day meant I was failing.
    That if I was strong enough, I wouldn’t feel this way.

    But that’s not true.

    Bad days aren’t failures.
    They’re part of healing.
    They’re part of living.

    So today, I’m choosing forgiveness.

    I forgive myself for the days I was too tired to fight.
    I forgive myself for the panic attacks, the canceled plans, the missed moments.
    I forgive myself for surviving the best way I knew how at the time.

    You don’t get to weaponize my past against me anymore.

    Every hard day I lived through is a testament to my strength — not my weakness.

    I am allowed to have bad days.
    I am allowed to be human.
    I am allowed to forgive myself.

    I am proud of how far I’ve come, even if the road was messy.

    And I’m not carrying shame with me anymore.

    — Shanice

  • Dear Anxiety: I’m Done Hiding From You

    Dear Anxiety,

    For a long time, I tried to hide you.
    Pretend you weren’t there.
    Smile through the panic.
    Laugh through the fear.
    Nod through the moments where my body was screaming inside.

    I thought if I just stayed quiet, if I just kept pretending, you’d leave me alone.

    But you didn’t.

    Hiding didn’t make you disappear.
    It only made me disappear.
    Piece by piece, I lost parts of myself trying to make you less noticeable to the world.

    Not anymore.

    I’m done hiding from you.
    I’m done pretending to be okay when I’m crumbling inside.
    I’m done acting like you’re not heavy when some days you’re too much to carry alone.

    I will not be ashamed of my struggle.
    I will not let silence be your weapon.

    Talking about you doesn’t make me weak.
    Admitting my fear doesn’t make me broken.
    Sharing my battles doesn’t make me less.

    It makes me free.

    You don’t get to make me hide anymore.

    I am showing up.
    I am speaking out.
    I am standing tall — even with the weight of you still trying to drag me down.

    I’m done hiding.
    You don’t get that power anymore.

    — Shanice

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