Anxiety Momster

Tag: depression

  • Dear Anxiety: You Don’t Get to Steal My Joy

    Dear Anxiety,

    You have stolen enough from me.
    Moments that should have been filled with laughter — you filled with fear.
    Milestones that should have felt like victories — you shadowed with doubt.
    Ordinary days that could have been peaceful — you twisted into battles.

    You tried to make me believe that being happy was dangerous.
    That if I smiled too big or laughed too loud, something bad would happen.
    You trained me to brace for impact even when nothing was wrong.

    But I’m starting to see you for what you really are:
    You’re a thief.
    You sneak in quietly, tiptoeing into my good moments, and whisper “what if” until the joy fades away.

    Not anymore.

    I’m reclaiming my moments — messy, imperfect, beautiful moments.
    I’m letting myself feel joy even if my hands are still a little shaky.
    I’m letting myself laugh even if fear is waiting around the corner.
    I’m letting myself live even when you tell me it’s not safe to.

    Because joy is not something I have to earn by worrying enough.
    Joy is not something you get to dangle in front of me like a trick.

    Joy is mine.
    It always has been.
    It always will be.

    You might still show up, uninvited and unwanted.
    You might still try to plant seeds of fear in the middle of my happiness.
    But I’m not giving you the power to steal from me anymore.

    I choose to protect my joy.
    I choose to celebrate my good days without apology.
    I choose to believe that I deserve peace — even when you’re screaming that I don’t.

    You don’t get to win.
    Not today.
    Not tomorrow.
    Not ever.

    — Shanice

    These are my real, raw letters to my anxiety.
    Some days, it wins. Some days, I fight back.
    Either way, these words are proof that I’m still here, still breathing, still trying.
    If you’re fighting too, you’re not alone. 🖤

  • Dear Anxiety: When Fear Feels Louder Than Hope

    Dear Anxiety,

    Some days, no matter how hard I try, your voice is louder than anything else.
    You wrap your hands around my mind and squeeze until all I can hear is the worst-case scenario.
    You shout over the good things, drown out the small wins, smother the sparks of hope I try so hard to hold onto.

    You tell me danger is everywhere.
    You tell me I’m one breath away from disaster.
    You make my body feel like a battlefield even when I’m sitting in a safe, quiet room.

    Today was one of those days.

    Today, your fear felt bigger than my dreams.
    Louder than my logic.
    Heavier than my hope.

    But here’s what you didn’t realize:
    Even when you were roaring inside my head, something quieter survived.

    A tiny, stubborn flicker of hope stayed lit.
    It wasn’t loud.
    It wasn’t flashy.
    It was just there — steady, patient, refusing to be extinguished by your chaos.

    And that flicker?
    That is mine.
    Not yours.

    You can scream.
    You can threaten.
    You can flood my body with fear and make my hands shake and my chest ache — but you cannot have my hope.

    Even if it’s small.
    Even if it’s hidden behind tired eyes and heavy breaths.
    It still belongs to me.

    And I will protect it with everything I have.
    Because every day that I hold onto even a sliver of hope…
    Is a day you don’t win.

    I’m still here.
    I’m still breathing.
    I’m still fighting.

    You are loud, Anxiety.
    But I am louder.

    — Shanice

    These are my real, raw letters to my anxiety.
    Some days, it wins. Some days, I fight back.
    Either way, these words are proof that I’m still here, still breathing, still trying.
    If you’re fighting too, you’re not alone. 🖤

  • Dear Anxiety: I’m Tired of Fighting You

    Every day with anxiety feels different. Some days it whispers. Some days it screams.
    I’m writing these letters to speak back to it — to take my power back, one word at a time.
    Here’s today’s letter.

    Trigger Warning:
    This post discusses real emotions related to anxiety and may be triggering for some readers. Please take care while reading.

    Disclaimer:
    I am not a medical professional. I share my personal journey with anxiety in hopes of connecting with others who may feel the same. Please reach out to a healthcare provider for medical advice.

    Dear Anxiety,

    I’m tired.
    I’m tired of waking up already feeling like I’m losing a battle I never agreed to fight.
    I’m tired of second-guessing every sensation, every thought, every breath.
    I’m tired of pretending I’m fine when my insides are screaming for help.

    I have tried to reason with you.
    I have tried to ignore you.
    I have tried to fight you.
    And yet, you still show up — uninvited, unwanted, unapologetic.

    You steal my peace on days that should have been beautiful.
    You make me fear things I logically know are safe.
    You make my own body feel like a stranger, a threat.
    You have turned simple moments into mountains I must climb just to survive.

    And worst of all — you make me doubt myself.
    You whisper lies in my ear that I’m weak.
    That I’ll never get better.
    That I’m broken beyond repair.

    But here’s the thing:
    Even when I’m tired, I’m still here.
    Even when it feels unbearable, I’m still breathing.
    Even when I want to give up, some tiny part of me fights back — and that part is stronger than you.

    I don’t have all the answers yet.
    Some days, I’m just surviving.
    Some days, I’m angry.
    Some days, I’m scared.
    But every day I wake up, I’m still in the fight.
    And that makes me brave in ways you’ll never understand.

    So, dear Anxiety —
    You don’t win today.
    Not because I’m fearless.
    But because I’m choosing to show up anyway.
    And that’s something you can never take from me.

    — Shanice

    If you’re fighting your own invisible battles today, know this: you are not weak for feeling tired. You are strong because you keep going. And you are never, ever alone

    These are my real, raw letters to my anxiety.
    Some days, it wins. Some days, I fight back.
    Either way, these words are proof that I’m still here, still breathing, still trying.
    If you’re fighting too, you’re not alone.

  • Living with Hypochondria: My Daily Challenges

    Disclaimer:
    I’m not a doctor, therapist, or licensed mental health professional. I’m just a mom living with anxiety, sharing my personal experiences in hopes that they help someone else feel less alone. Nothing in this blog should be taken as medical advice. Please speak with a professional if you’re struggling — you deserve support.

    ⚠️ This post talks about health-related anxiety and panic symptoms. Please take care of your mental space as you read.

    🧠 My mind doesn’t stop

    A simple headache? Could be a brain tumor.
    A flutter in my chest? Must be a heart attack.
    Tingling fingers? Is this a stroke starting?

    Even when logic tells me I’m okay, my anxiety tells me I’m not. It hijacks my peace with “what ifs” that spiral fast and loud.

    📲 The Google trap

    I’ve Googled symptoms I didn’t even have — just to prepare myself “in case” they show up. I’ve convinced myself I was dying, only to later realize I was just dehydrated or tired. It’s embarrassing. But it’s part of how my brain copes — by trying to “solve” a threat that isn’t even real.

    🩺 Doctor fatigue

    Yes, I’ve gone to urgent care “just to be sure.”
    Yes, I’ve asked doctors the same question multiple times.
    No, it’s not for attention — it’s because my anxiety convinces me something was missed.

    It’s exhausting. For me and for the people I love. But it’s also my reality.

    💡 What helps me cope

    • Scheduled reassurance. I limit how often I can check symptoms or Google anything.
    • Distraction therapy. I redirect my mind with music, puzzles, or helping my kids.
    • Grounding logic. I ask, “If this were someone else, would I think they were dying?”
    • Therapy + journaling. Writing it down helps release the fear from my head.

    ❤️ You’re not alone

    If you deal with health anxiety, know this:
    You’re not crazy. You’re not broken.
    Your brain is just trying to protect you — it’s just overdoing it.

    You can live with hypochondria and still find peace.
    It takes work. It takes patience. But most of all, it takes grace.

    🖤
    If this spoke to you, share it. Comment. Or just sit with it and know…
    You’re not alone. You never were.

    — Anxiety Momster

  • 5 Myths About Anxiety That Need to Die (Like Yesterday)

    There’s a lot of noise out there about what anxiety is and isn’t — and honestly, most of it just makes those of us who live with it feel worse.

    So today I’m breaking down five of the biggest myths I’ve personally run into — the ones that made me feel ashamed, misunderstood, or weak. If you’ve believed any of these, you’re not alone.

    Let’s clear it up.

    (more…)

  • ✨ I’m Still Here: What It Feels Like to Survive Another Anxiety Episode

    Tonight, I felt like I was dying. Again.

    It crept in, like it always does — quiet at first, then full-blown chaos. My head felt funny, my stomach flipped, and my brain told me it was something serious. A brain tumor. An aneurysm. Something fatal.

    My hands got cold. My chest tightened.
    I wanted to cry, scream, and run. I wanted it to stop.

    And yet…
    Here I am.
    Still breathing.
    Still here.

    (more…)