Nobody in that grocery store knew I was panicking.
Not the people walking past me.
Not the cashier.
Nobody.
Because on the outside, I probably looked like a mom doing something completely normal: walking around, pushing a cart, picking up groceries.
But inside?
I was anxious.
I felt dizzy.
I felt floaty.
I felt heavy.
And more than once, I had that overwhelming urge to GET OUT.
My anxiety wanted me to leave.
I didn’t.
Yesterday, I went grocery shopping, and honestly, this was a pretty big deal for me.
I did get anxious on the way to the store. My anxiety was already trying to convince me that I should turn around and just go home.
Eventually, though, I started calming down.
Once I got inside, I was able to actually shop without constantly feeling like I needed to escape.
That doesn’t mean I felt completely fine.
There were still moments when I wanted to run.
But I stayed.
I kept shopping.
I didn’t run.
And honestly, that means a LOT to me.
Because sometimes anxiety doesn’t look like someone crying or having an obvious panic attack.
Sometimes it looks like someone pushing a shopping cart down an aisle while fighting everything inside them that’s screaming, “GET OUT.”
Yesterday, anxiety came with me.
But anxiety didn’t get to make the decision for me.
I DID.
I finished my grocery shopping.
And that might sound like a small thing to somebody else, but for me?
ONE GIANT STEP. 💜
I don’t need every outing to be anxiety-free.
I just want to keep learning that I can feel uncomfortable, feel anxious, feel those weird sensations, and still keep living my life.
Yesterday reminded me of that.
And I’m damn proud of myself.
Anxiety Momster 💜