Dear Anxiety,
For a long time, I thought the goal was to get rid of you completely.
To silence you.
To fight you into nonexistence.
And maybe that’s still the dream —
But I’m starting to realize something:
Maybe healing doesn’t always mean making you disappear.
Maybe it means learning to live alongside you without letting you run the show.
I don’t like you.
I don’t welcome you.
But I’m learning that I don’t have to fear you the way I used to.
You can show up, pounding at the door of my mind,
but I don’t have to let you move in and rearrange my whole life every time.
I can feel the fear without letting it decide for me.
I can notice the panic without spiraling every single time.
I can acknowledge your voice without letting it become my truth.
Living with you isn’t easy.
There are days you still knock the wind out of me.
There are moments I still feel like I’m back at square one.
But I’m not.
Every breath I take without letting you take over — that’s progress.
Every moment I choose to keep going despite the fear — that’s strength.
Every small decision I make for me and not for you — that’s healing.
I’m not perfect at this.
Some days, I still stumble.
Some days, you still scream louder than I’d like to admit.
But I’m not running from you anymore.
I’m learning how to live.
I’m learning how to stay.
I’m learning how to be me — even with you standing in the background.
You don’t get to erase my life.
Not anymore.
I’m taking it back.
One shaky, stubborn, beautiful step at a time.
— Shanice
These are my real, raw letters to my anxiety.
Some days, it wins. Some days, I fight back.
Either way, these words are proof that I’m still here, still breathing, still trying.
If you’re fighting too, you’re not alone. 🖤
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