Challenging the Unrealistic Expectations That Are Breaking Us
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post contains honest reflections on mental health, motherhood, emotional burnout, and breaking societal expectations.
📌 Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. This is a personal reflection based on my lived experience. Please seek professional help if you’re struggling.
Every time someone tells me, “You’re so strong,” I flinch a little inside.
Not because I’m ungrateful.
But because sometimes, I don’t want to be strong.
Sometimes, I’m barely holding it together.
And yet — moms like me, especially those of us managing anxiety, health conditions, and motherhood — get labeled “strong” like it’s a badge we’re supposed to wear with pride.
But what if I told you that label is crushing us?
The “Strong Mom” Stereotype Is a Lie
Here’s what I know:
- Strong moms cry in the bathroom while the food is cooking
- Strong moms carry health anxiety and still show up for work and their kids
- Strong moms sit in ER parking lots wondering if they’re dying or just panicking
- Strong moms teach their children to breathe while trying not to fall apart themselves
But the world only sees the outside.
The clean house, the packed lunches, the calm voice.
They don’t see the heart racing, the trembling hands, the exhaustion behind the eyes.
I’ve lived this. I live it every day.
I take my meds.
I monitor my blood sugar.
I fight through low iron, kidney issues, and the constant worry that something worse is lurking.
And while I’m fighting all of that, I’m also homeschooling, cleaning, working, and trying to be emotionally available to five kids.
So yeah — I’m “strong.”
But I’m also human.
And I shouldn’t have to hide the human parts just to be accepted.
What We Really Need
We don’t need to be strong all the time.
We need support. Grace. Room to fall apart.
We need people to stop saying “you’ve got this” and start asking, “How can I help?”
We need to normalize:
- Crying in front of our kids
- Saying “I need a break” without guilt
- Asking for help
- Not always being okay
Because strength isn’t about never breaking down — it’s about being honest when you do.
Letting Go of the Myth
If you’re a mom reading this and you feel the weight of that “strong” label — I want you to know something:
You don’t have to carry it alone.
You can be real. You can be raw.
You can be soft and struggling and still be a good mom.
You can fall apart and still be worthy of love.
Strong isn’t the goal.
Whole, supported, and safe — that’s what we deserve.
— Shanice, Anxiety Momster
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