March 23, 2026
⚠️ Trigger Warning + Disclaimer:
This entry contains real-time experiences of anxiety, panic, and health-related fears, including chest pain, intrusive thoughts, and physical symptoms.
This journal reflects my personal experience and is not medical advice. If you are experiencing severe or concerning symptoms, please seek professional medical care.
March 23, 2026
My heart rate went up again today.
I checked it… which I probably shouldn’t have.
Then 104.
And that was enough to set everything off.
Because now I’m watching it.
Waiting.
Checking again.
Then it dropped to 99.
And instead of feeling better, I started thinking…
Why did it go up in the first place?
Now I’m paying attention to every beat.
Then I felt a sharp pain on the right side of my chest.
And there it is.
“That’s it.”
That’s the thought.
Every single time.
It doesn’t matter how small it is.
Once my brain says it, I believe it.
My chest started aching after that.
My heart rate went back up.
And now I’m stuck in the cycle.
Check → feel → panic → check again
I hate how aware I am of my body.
It’s exhausting.
And the worst part is… I know I’ve felt all of this before.
I know nothing happened.
But that doesn’t matter in the moment.
Because in the moment?
It feels like the one time it will.
I really thought this was it.
Again.