⚠️ Trigger Warning
This post discusses anxiety, panic, and health-related fears.
⚠️ Disclaimer
I am not a medical professional. This is my personal experience.
I don’t think people talk about this part of anxiety enough.
Not the panic attacks.
Not the racing thoughts.
But the part where…
you stop trusting your own body.
Because that’s where I’ve been.
It’s like everything I feel now has a question attached to it.
A small ache?
“What is that?”
A headache?
“Why does it feel like that?”
My heart beating a little faster?
Now I’m paying attention to every single beat.
And it’s not on purpose.
That’s what makes it worse.
It just… happens.
I used to be able to just exist in my body.
Now it feels like I’m watching it.
Monitoring it.
Waiting for something to go wrong.
And once that starts, it’s hard to stop.
Because anxiety doesn’t just stay in your thoughts.
It shows up in your body too.
So now you’re stuck in this loop:
You feel something
→ your mind reacts
→ your body responds
→ now you feel even more
And suddenly everything feels real.
Even if it started from anxiety.
That’s the part I hate the most.
How convincing it feels.
Because even when I tell myself:
“You’re okay.”
My body doesn’t always agree.
And that disconnect?
Between what I know… and what I feel?
That’s exhausting.
There are days I sit and think…
“How did I get here?”
How did I go from just living in my body…
to feeling like I have to check on it all day?
I miss that version of me.
The one who didn’t overthink every sensation.
The one who didn’t feel like her body was something to watch.
But here’s something I’m slowly trying to understand.
My body isn’t trying to hurt me.
It’s reacting.
To stress.
To fear.
To constant “what if” thoughts.
It’s not broken.
It’s overwhelmed.
And I’m still learning how to trust it again.
Slowly.
Not perfectly.
Some days I can ignore the thoughts.
Some days I can’t.
But even on the days I don’t trust my body…
my body is still doing its job.
Still breathing.
Still functioning.
Still keeping me here.
And maybe that matters more than I realize.
If you’ve been feeling like this too…
like your body doesn’t feel like a safe place anymore…
you’re not alone.
This is just a part of anxiety people don’t talk about enough.
But we are now.
– Anxiety Momster 💜